dysenterygay: i asked my italian grandfather if the rough parts of italy were called the spaghetto and look at me w/ so much shame
shsl-chef: a-felicia-named-goat: shsl-chef: when u Mom com home and make hte spagheti what is this even supposed to mean thats what i do when me Mom com home and make hte spagheti
an open letter to yahoo
aiclan: fix the tumblr video player and you can buy any fucking website you like
fonmasterguard: So no one at my friend’s old high school is allowed to dress up for halloween anymore because one year this kid came to school on a bike wearing a red jumpsuit with tampons taped to him. He rode around the school telling people he was the menstrual cycle
cockenblog: The return of Arrested Development is timed perfectly with how long it’s taken me to forgive them for the “For British Eyes Only” subplot.
God: I love all my children equally.
[Earlier in the Bible]
God: I don't care for Gob.
deluminator: my brother just walked in here with a bunch of pancakes and was like ‘wow this is a whole lot of pancakes’ and then he closed his eyes and whispered to himself ‘but i am a whole lot of man’
I suspect it’s difficult for men to imagine a world in which their bodies have...– Unknown (via perfect)
A Baroque Drinking Game
wtfarthistory: Workshop of Joachim Fries, Automaton with Diana on a Stag, ca. 1620-35, gilded silver. The Walters Art Museum, Baltimore Step 1: Gather friends for a party. Step 2: Remove the stag’s head. Step 3: Pour wine into the sculpture. Step 4: Wind up the sculpture (using keyhole in the base). Step 5: Send the automaton wheeling across the table until it stops in front of a guest. ...
Spock and Kirk's relationship in a nutshell
Spock: don't do the thing
Kirk: I'M GOING TO DO THE THING
fartgallery: fartgallery: so one morning I woke up to go to school and saw that my roommate left me this note so I walked into the kitchen and then saw that he was actually serious except inside the bag was a handful of cheerios, a pack of sweet tarts, and a raw potato also he was upset that I didn’t eat it so he moved the sign
renlybaratheeon: you don’t know true agony unless you’ve gone from watching 5 seasons in 2 days to 1 episode a week
pizza: dempokeballstho: Tumblr user Pizza is both scary and entertaining I mean, really? I’m not sure if I should be scared or impressed. scared
egg-rolls: omg i was at starbucks and there was this girl and she had her hair in a bun and had a crop top with flowers on it and i hissed “hipster blog” and she turned around and snarled “fandom blog” and then we shook hands and exchanged urls her tumblr is pretty nice i dont see why there’s a rivalry we’re all wasting our lives on the same goddamn website